code/datums/religions.dm - Bleeding-Edge - githubmirror/vgstation13

code/datums/religions.dm
1 585 строк61 KB
SECBATON GRIFFON
Book spine overlays (#38978)
03 фев 2026, 04:21
03 фев 2026, 04:21e32df18
/proc/DecidePrayerGod(var/mob/H)
	if(!H || !H.mind)
		return "a voice"
	if(iscultist(H))
		return "Nar-Sie"
	else if(ischangeling(H))
		return "The Hive"
	else if(H.mind.faith) // The user has a faith
		var/datum/religion/R = H.mind.faith
		return R.deity_name
	else if(H.mind.assigned_role == "Clown")
		return "Honkmother"
	else if(H.mind.assigned_role == "Trader")
		return "Shoalmother"
	else if(issilicon(H))
		return "MAINFRAME"
	else if(!ishuman(H) && !isobserver(H))
		return "Animal Jesus"
	else
		return "a voice"

/datum/religion_ui
	var/choice
	var/closed = FALSE

/datum/religion_ui/ui_host(mob/user)
	return user

/datum/religion_ui/proc/wait()
	while (!choice && !closed && !gcDestroyed)
		stoplag(1)

/datum/religion_ui/ui_assets()
	return list(/datum/asset/spritesheet/bible)

/datum/religion_ui/ui_close()
	..()
	closed = TRUE
	qdel(src)

/datum/religion_ui/tgui_interact(mob/user, datum/tgui/ui)
	ui = SStgui.try_update_ui(user, src, ui)
	if(!ui)
		ui = new(user, src, "ChooseReligion")
		ui.set_autoupdate(FALSE)
		ui.open()

/datum/religion_ui/ui_act(action, params, datum/tgui/ui)
	. = ..()
	if(.)
		return
	if(action != "choose")
		return
	choice = params
	ui.close()

var/list/tgui_religion_data

/datum/religion_ui/ui_static_data(mob/user)
	if(!tgui_religion_data)
		var/list/data = list("religions" = list(), "bibleStyles" = list())

		var/list/data_religions = data["religions"]
		var/list/religion_types = subtypesof(/datum/religion)
		religion_types = sortTim(religion_types, /proc/cmp_initial_name_asc)
		for(var/path in religion_types)
			var/datum/religion/religion = new path
			var/obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/incensebox_path = religion.preferred_incense
			var/incense_fragrance = initial(incensebox_path.fragrance)
			var/list/bible_style = all_bible_styles[religion.bookstyle]
			if (islist(bible_style))
				bible_style = bible_style["icon"]
			data_religions += list(list(
				"name" = religion.name,
				"keywords" = religion.keys,
				"deityName" = religion.deity_name,
				"bibleStyle" = religion.bookstyle,
				"bibleStyleIcon" = bible_style,
				"bibleName" = religion.bible_name,
				"maleAdept" = religion.male_adept,
				"femaleAdept" = religion.female_adept,
				"convertMethod" = religion.convert_method,
				"possibleBibleNames" = religion.bible_names,
				"possibleDeityNames" = religion.deity_names,
				"preferredIncense" = incense_fragrance,
				"notes" = religion.ui_notes(),
			))
		var/list/data_bible_styles = data["bibleStyles"]
		for(var/name in all_bible_styles)
			var/icon_name = all_bible_styles[name]
			if(islist(icon_name))
				icon_name = icon_name["icon"]
			data_bible_styles += list(list(
				"name" = name,
				"iconName" = icon_name
			))
		tgui_religion_data = data
	return tgui_religion_data

/proc/get_religion_by_name(name)
	for(var/entry in subtypesof(/datum/religion))
		var/datum/religion/path = entry
		if(initial(path.name) == name)
			return new path
	return new /datum/religion/default

/proc/ChooseReligion(mob/living/carbon/human/user)
	var/datum/religion_ui/ui = new
	ui.tgui_interact(user)
	ui.wait()

	var/list/data = ui.choice
	var/datum/religion/new_religion
	if(!data)
		new_religion = new /datum/religion/default
	else if(!data["custom"])
		new_religion = get_religion_by_name(data["religionName"])
	else
		new_religion = new /datum/religion
		if(data["name"])
			new_religion.name = data["name"]
		if(data["bibleStyle"])
			new_religion.bookstyle = data["bibleStyle"]
	if(data["deityName"])
		new_religion.deity_name = data["deityName"]
	if(data["bibleName"])
		new_religion.bible_name = data["bibleName"]

	new_religion.equip_chaplain(user)
	new_religion.religiousLeader = user.mind

	var/obj/item/new_bible = new_religion.spawn_bible(get_turf(user))
	user.put_in_hands(new_bible)

	user.equip_or_collect(new new_religion.preferred_incense(get_turf(user), slot_in_backpack))

	var/new_alt_title = user.gender == FEMALE ? new_religion.female_adept : new_religion.male_adept
	for(var/object in user.get_body_slots())
		if(istype(object, /obj/item/weapon/card/id))
			var/obj/item/weapon/card/id/ID = object
			ID.assignment = new_alt_title
			ID.name = "[user.mind.name]'s ID Card ([new_alt_title])"
		if(istype(object, /obj/item/device/pda))
			var/obj/item/device/pda/PDA = object
			if(PDA.owner == user.real_name)
				PDA.ownjob = new_alt_title
				PDA.name = "PDA-[PDA.owner] ([new_alt_title])"
	data_core.manifest_modify(user.real_name, new_alt_title)

	to_chat(user, "A great, intense revelation goes through your spirit. You are now the religious leader of [new_religion.name]. Convert people by [new_religion.convert_method]")
	new_religion.convert(user, null, can_renounce = FALSE)
	new_religion.OnPostActivation()
	if(ticker)
		ticker.religions += new_religion
	SStgui.close_uis(ui)
	qdel(ui)

/datum/religion/proc/spawn_bible(atom/where)
	var/obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/new_bible = new bible_type(where)
	new_bible.name = bible_name
	new_bible.icon_state = bookstyle
	new_bible.item_state = bookstyle
	new_bible.my_rel = src

	var/list/data = all_bible_styles[bookstyle]
	if(islist(data))
		if(data["icon"])
			new_bible.icon_state = data["icon"]
			new_bible.item_state = data["icon"]
		if(data["desc"])
			new_bible.desc = data["desc"]
		if(data["damtype"])
			new_bible.damtype = data["damtype"]
		if(data["spine_color"])
			new_bible.spine_color = data["spine_color"]
		if(data["spine_overlay"])
			new_bible.spine_color = data["spine_overlay"]
	else
		new_bible.icon_state = data
		new_bible.item_state = data

	holy_book = new_bible

	return new_bible

/mob/proc/renounce_faith()
	set category = "IC"
	set name = "Renounce Faith"
	set desc = "Leave the religion you are currently in."

	if (!mind || !mind.faith)
		to_chat(src, "<span class='warning'>You have no religion to renounce.</span>")
		verbs -= /mob/proc/renounce_faith
		return

	var/datum/religion/R = mind.faith

	if (R.leadsThisReligion(src))
		to_chat(src, "<span class='warning'>You are the leader of this flock and cannot forsake them. If you have to, pray to the Gods for release.</span>")
		return
	if (alert("Do you wish to renounce [R.name]?","Renouncing a religion","Yes","No") != "Yes")
		return

	R.renounce(src)
	verbs -= /mob/proc/renounce_faith

// This file lists all religions, as well as the prototype for a religion
/datum/religion
	// Following tradition, the default is Space Jesus (this is here to avoid people getting an empty religion)
	var/name = "Christianity"
	var/deity_name = "Space Jesus"
	var/bible_name = "The Holy Bible"
	var/male_adept = "Chaplain"
	var/female_adept = "Chaplain"
	var/convert_method = "splashing them with holy water, holding a bible in hand."

	var/bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible
	var/obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/holy_book

	var/datum/mind/religiousLeader
	var/list/datum/mind/adepts = list()

	var/list/bible_names = list()
	var/list/deity_names = list()

	var/list/keys = list("abstractbasetype") // What you need to type to get this particular relgion.
	var/converts_everyone = FALSE
	var/preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/harebells
	var/symbolstyle = 10
	var/bookstyle = "Holy Light"

/// Returns a string to be displayed in the ChooseReligion UI.
/// Base proc just cares about whether it can convert anyone but it can be
/// overridden to say anything.
/datum/religion/proc/ui_notes()
	return converts_everyone ? "Automatically converts everyone." : "N/A"

/datum/religion/New() // For religions with several bibles/deities
	if (bible_names.len)
		bible_name = pick(bible_names)

/datum/religion/proc/leadsThisReligion(var/mob/living/user)
	return (user.mind && user.mind == religiousLeader)

/proc/isReligiousLeader(var/mob/living/user)
	for (var/datum/religion/rel in ticker.religions)
		if (rel.leadsThisReligion(user))
			return TRUE
	return FALSE

// Give the chaplain the basic gear, as well as a few misc effects.
/datum/religion/proc/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	return TRUE // Nothing to see here, but redefined in some other religions !

/* ---- RELIGIOUS CONVERSION ----
 * convertAct() -> convertCeremony() -> convertCheck() -> convert()
 * Redefine 'convertCeremony' to play out your snowflake ceremony/interactions in your religion datum.
 * In a saner language, convertCeremony() and convertCheck() would be private methods. Those are UNSAFE procs. Call convertAct() instead.
 */

/* ConvertAct() : here we check if eveything is in place for the conversion, and provide feedback if needed. Sanity for the preacher or the target belongs to the verb in the bible.
 * - preacher : the guy doing the converting
 * - subject : the guy being converted
 * - B : the bible using for the conversion
 */
/datum/religion/proc/convertAct(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject, var/obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/B)
	if (B.my_rel != src) // BLASPHEMY
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You are a heathen to this God. You feel [B.my_rel.deity_name]'s wrath strike you for this blasphemy.</span>")
		preacher.fire_stacks += 5
		preacher.ignite()
		preacher.audible_scream()
		return FALSE
	if (preacher != religiousLeader.current)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You fail to muster enough mental strength to begin the conversion. Only the Spiritual Guide of [name] can perfom this.</span>")
		return FALSE
	if (subject.mind.faith == src)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You and your target follow the same faith.</span>")
		return FALSE
	if (istype(subject.mind.faith) && subject.mind.faith.leadsThisReligion(subject))
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>Your target is already the leader of another religion.</span>")
		return FALSE
	else
		return convertCeremony(preacher, subject)

/* ConvertCeremony() : the RP ceremony to convert the newfound person.
 Here we check if we have the tools to convert and play out the little interactions. */

 // This is the default ceremony, for Christianity/Space Jesus
/datum/religion/proc/convertCeremony(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject)
	var/held_beaker = preacher.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers)
	if (!held_beaker)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold Holy Water to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE
	var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/B = preacher.held_items[held_beaker]
	if (B.reagents.get_master_reagent_name() != "Holy Water")
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold Holy Water to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE
	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [preacher] attempts to convert \the [subject] to [name].</span>")
	if(!convertCheck(subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	// Everything is ok : begin the conversion
	splash_sub(B.reagents, subject, 5, preacher)
	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] is blessed by \the [preacher] and embraces [name]. Praise [deity_name]!</span>")
	convert(subject, preacher)
	return TRUE

// Here we check if the subject is willing
/datum/religion/proc/convertCheck(var/mob/living/subject)
	var/choice = input(subject, "Do you wish to become a follower of [name]?","Religious converting") in list("Yes", "No")
	return choice == "Yes"

// Here is the proc to welcome a new soul in our religion.
/datum/religion/proc/convert(var/mob/living/subject, var/mob/living/preacher, var/can_renounce = TRUE, var/default = FALSE)
	// If he already had one
	if (subject.mind.faith)
		subject.mind.faith.renounce(subject) // We remove him from that one

	subject.mind.faith = src
	adepts += subject.mind
	if(can_renounce)
		subject.verbs |= /mob/proc/renounce_faith
	if(!default)
		to_chat(subject, "<span class='good'>You feel your mind become clear and focused as you discover your newfound faith. You are now a follower of [name].</span>")
		if (!preacher && subject.mind.assigned_role != "Chaplain")
			var/msg = "\The [key_name(subject)] has been converted to [name] without a preacher."
			message_admins(msg)
		else
			var/msg = "[key_name(subject)] has been converted to [name] by \The [key_name(preacher)]."
			message_admins(msg)
	else
		to_chat(subject, "<span class='good'>You are reminded you were christened into [name] long ago.</span>")

// Activivating a religion with admin interventions.
/datum/religion/proc/activate(var/mob/living/preacher)
	equip_chaplain(preacher) // We do the misc things related to the religion
	to_chat(preacher, "A great, intense revelation goes through your spirit. You are now the religious leader of [name]. Convert people by [convert_method]")
	if (holy_book)
		preacher.put_in_hands(holy_book)
	else
		holy_book = new bible_type
		holy_book.my_rel = src
		chooseBible(src, preacher)
		holy_book.name = bible_name
		preacher.put_in_hands(holy_book)
	religiousLeader = preacher.mind
	convert(preacher, null)
	OnPostActivation()

/datum/religion/proc/OnPostActivation()
	if(converts_everyone)
		message_admins("[key_name(religiousLeader)] has selected [name] and converted the entire crew.")
		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in player_list)
			if(isReligiousLeader(H))
				continue
			convert(H,null,TRUE,TRUE)

/datum/religion/proc/renounce(var/mob/living/subject)
	to_chat(subject, "<span class='notice'>You renounce [name].</span>")
	adepts -= subject.mind
	subject.mind.faith = null

// interceptPrayer: Called when anyone (not necessarily one of our adepts!) whispers a prayer.
// Return 1 to CANCEL THAT GUY'S PRAYER (!!!), or return null and just do something fun.
/datum/religion/proc/interceptPrayer(var/mob/living/L, var/deity, var/prayer_message)
	return

var/list/all_bible_styles = list(
	"Bible" = list("icon" = "bible", "spine_color" = "#888", "spine_overlay" = "#bb0", "desc" = "Apply to head repeatedly.", "damtype" = BRUTE),
	"Koran" = list("icon" = "koran", "spine_color" = "#444", "spine_overlay" = "#fb0"),
	"Scrapbook" = list("icon" = "scrapbook", "spine_color" = "#444", "spine_overlay" = "#fff"),
	"Creeper" = list("icon" = "creeper", "spine_color" = "#484", "spine_overlay" = "#0f0"),
	"White Bible" = list("icon" = "white", "spine_color" = "#fff", "spine_overlay" = "#bb0"),
	"Holy Light" = list("icon" = "holylight", "spine_color" = "#888", "spine_overlay" = "#bb0"),
	"Atheist" = list("icon" = "athiest", "spine_color" = "#844", "spine_overlay" = "#444"),
	"Tome" = list("icon" = "bible-tome", "spine_color" = "#888", "spine_overlay" = "#800", "desc" = "A Nanotrasen-approved heavily revised interpretation of Nar-Sie's teachings. Apply to head repeatedly."),
	"The King in Yellow" = list("icon" = "kingyellow", "spine_color" = "#880", "spine_overlay" = "#ff0"),
	"Ithaqua" = list("icon" = "ithaqua", "spine_color" = "#088", "spine_overlay" = "#0bb"),
	"Scientology" = list("icon" = "scientology", "spine_color" = "#888", "spine_overlay" = "#0ff"),
	"The Bible melts" = list("icon" = "melted", "spine_color" = "#888", "spine_overlay" = "#bb0"),
	"Unaussprechlichen Kulten" = list("icon" = "kulten", "spine_color" = "#444", "spine_overlay" = "#888"),
	"Necronomicon" = list("icon" = "necronomicon", "spine_color" = "#844", "spine_overlay" = "#444"),
	"Book of Shadows" = list("icon" = "shadows", "spine_color" = "#484", "spine_overlay" = "#8b8"),
	"Torah" = list("icon" = "torah", "spine_color" = "#864"),
	"Burning" = list("icon" = "burning", "spine_color" = "#f80", "spine_overlay" = "#ff0", "damtype" = BURN),
	"Honk" = list("icon" = "honkbook", "spine_color" = "#b84", "spine_overlay" = "#f0f"),
	"Ianism" = list("icon" = "ianism", "spine_color" = "#fff", "spine_overlay" = "#f80"),
	"The Guide" = list("icon" = "guide", "spine_color" = "#444", "spine_overlay" = "#f00"),
	"Slab" = list("icon" = "slab", "spine_color" = "#860", "spine_overlay" = "#b80", "desc" = "A bizarre, ticking device... That looks broken."),
	"The Dokument" = list("icon" = "gunbible", "spine_color" = "#000", "spine_overlay" = "#bb0"),
	"Holy Grimoire" = list("icon" = "holygrimoire", "spine_color" = "#000", "spine_overlay" = "#b60", "desc" = "A version of the Christian Bible with several apocryphal sections appended which detail how to combat evil forces of the night. Apply to head repeatedly."),
	"The Loop" = list("icon" = "loop", "spine_color" = "#000", "spine_overlay" = "#0bb", "desc" = "The combined efforts of a thousand timelines fill this book, explaining the nature of the Loop and how to survive it. Apply to head in a cyclical way.")
)

/proc/chooseBible(var/datum/religion/R, var/mob/user, var/noinput = FALSE) //Noinput if they just wanted the defaults

	if (!istype(R) || !user)
		return FALSE

	if (!R.holy_book)
		return FALSE

	var/book_style = R.bookstyle
	if(!noinput)
		book_style = input(user, "Which bible style would you like?") as null|anything in all_bible_styles
	ASSERT(book_style in all_bible_styles)
	var/list/data = all_bible_styles[book_style]
	if(islist(data))
		if(data["icon"])
			R.holy_book.icon_state = data["icon"]
			R.holy_book.item_state = data["icon"]
		if(data["desc"])
			R.holy_book.desc = data["desc"]
		if(data["damtype"])
			R.holy_book.damtype = data["damtype"]

// The list of all religions spacemen have designed, so far.
/datum/religion/default
	keys = list("christianity")
	converts_everyone = TRUE
	symbolstyle = 2
	bookstyle = "Bible"

/datum/religion/catholic
	name = "Catholicism"
	deity_name = "Jesus Christ"
	bible_name = "The Holy Bible"
	male_adept = "Bishop"
	female_adept = "Bishop"
	keys = list("catholic", "jesus", "catholicism", "roman catholicism")
	symbolstyle = 2
	bookstyle = "Bible"

/datum/religion/catholic/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/mitre(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/theism
	name = "Theism"
	deity_name = "God"
	bible_names = list("The Gnostic Bible", "The Dead Seas Scrolls")
	keys = list("theist", "gnosticism", "theism")
	bookstyle = "Torah"

/datum/religion/satanism
	name = "Satanism"
	deity_name = "Satan"
	bible_name = "The Satanic Bible" //What I found on Google, ergo the truth
	male_adept = "Magister"
	female_adept = "Magistera"
	keys = list("satan", "evil", "satanism")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/moonflowers
	bookstyle = "Burning"

/datum/religion/lovecraft
	name = "Esoteric order of Dagon"
	deity_name = "Cthulhu" //I hope it's spelt correctly
	bible_names = list("The Necronomicon", "The Book of Eibon", "De Vermis Mysteriis", "Unaussprechlichen Kulten")
	keys = list("cthulhu", "old ones", "great old ones", "outer gods", "elder gods", "esoteric order of dagon")
	symbolstyle = 5
	bookstyle = "Necronomicon" //also "Unaussprechlichen Kulten" "Ithaqua"

/datum/religion/hastur
	name = "Brotherhood of The Yellow Sign" //I'm fed up with people think I worship Dagon. We're moving out.
	deity_name = "Hastur"
	bible_name = "The King in Yellow" //The name of the titular fictional play in the 1895 book by Robert Chambers
	keys = list("hastur","yellow sign","king in yellow","brotherhood of the yellow sign")
	bookstyle = "The King in Yellow"

/datum/religion/islam
	name = "Islam"
	deity_name = "Allah"
	bible_name = "The Quran"
	male_adept = "Imam"
	female_adept = "Imam"
	keys = list("islam", "muslim")
	symbolstyle = 4
	bookstyle = "Koran"

/datum/religion/slam
	name = "Slam"
	deity_name = "Charles Barkley"
	bible_name = "Barkley: Shut Up and Jam - Gaiden"
	male_adept = "Master of Slam"
	female_adept = "Mistress of Slam"
	keys = list("slam", "bball", "basketball", "basket ball")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/vale

/datum/religion/slam/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.put_in_hands(new/obj/item/weapon/beach_ball/holoball)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/shorts/black, slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/judaism
	name = "Judaism"
	deity_name = "Yahweh"
	bible_names = list("The Torah", "The Talmud")
	male_adept = "Rabbi"
	female_adept = "Rabbi"
	keys = list("jew", "judaism", "jews")
	symbolstyle = 1
	bookstyle = "Torah"

/datum/religion/judaism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/kippah/kippah_random, slot_head)

/datum/religion/hinduism
	name = "Hinduism"
	deity_names = list("Brahma", "Vishnu", "Shiva", "Ganesha")
	bible_names = list("The Vedas", "The Mahabharata")
	male_adept = "Guru"
	female_adept = "Guru"
	keys = list("hindu", "hinduism", "india")

/datum/religion/buddism
	name = "Buddism"
	deity_name = "Buddha"
	bible_name = "The Tripitaka"
	male_adept = "Monk"
	female_adept = "Monk"
	keys = list("buddha", "buddhism")

/datum/religion/shintoism
	name = "Shintoism"
	deity_names = list("Izanagi", "Izanami", "Susanoo", "Amaterasu", "Tsukuyomi") //Polytheist and shit, do I sound like a weeb ?
	bible_name = "Kojiki"
	male_adept = "Kannushi"
	female_adept = "Shrine Maiden"
	keys = list("shinto", "shintoism", "anime", "weeaboo", "japan", "waifu")

/datum/religion/shintoism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/kimono(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/mormonism
	name = "Mormonism"
	deity_name = "God the Father-Elohim"
	male_adept = "Apostle"
	female_adept = "Apostle"
	bible_name = "The Book of Mormon"
	keys = list("mormon", "mormonism")
	symbolstyle = 2
	bookstyle = "Bible"

/datum/religion/confucianism
	name = "Confucianism"
	deity_name = "Tian" //I found this somewhere, I guess that's true
	bible_names = list("The I Ching", "Great Learning")
	male_adept = "Xian"
	female_adept = "Xian"
	keys = list("confucianism", "china", "chinese", "tao", "taoism", "dao", "daoism")

/datum/religion/paganism
	name = "Paganism"
	deity_name = "The Gods" //Damn pagans
	bible_name = "The Book of Shadows"
	male_adept = "High Priest"
	female_adept = "High Priestess"
	keys = list("wicca", "pagan", "paganism")
	symbolstyle = 6
	bookstyle = "Book of Shadows"

/datum/religion/nordic
	name = "Viking Mythos"
	deity_names = list("Thor", "Odin", "Freyja", "Loki", "Tyr")
	bible_name = "The Eddas"
	male_adept = "Godi"
	female_adept = "Godi"
	keys = list("norse", "german pagan","viking")

/datum/religion/obesity
	name = "Church of Corpulence"
	deity_names = list("Fat Albert", "Gaben", "William Howard Taft")
	bible_names = list("The Menu", "The Larder of Heaven")
	male_adept = "Fatcolyte"
	female_adept = "Fatcolyte"
	keys = list("fat", "obese","absolute unit", "obesity")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/cornoil

/datum/religion/obesity/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.reagents.add_reagent(NUTRIMENT, 40)
	H.overeatduration = 600

/datum/religion/obesity/convert(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject, var/can_renounce = TRUE)
	. = ..()
	if (subject)
		subject.reagents.add_reagent(NUTRIMENT, 40)
		subject.overeatduration = 600

/datum/religion/celtic
	name = "Celtic Mythos"
	deity_names = list("Toutatis", "Belenus", "Britannia") //Hon
	bible_name = "The Book of Leinster"
	male_adept = "Druid"
	female_adept = "Druidess"
	keys = list("druidism", "celtic")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/leafy

/datum/religion/celtic/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/storage/wintercoat/druid(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/atheism
	name = "Atheism"
	deity_name = "Richard Dawkins"
	bible_name = "The God Delusion"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Militant Atheist" // Wasn't defined so the poor dude ended up being a chaplain
	female_adept = "Militant Atheist"
	keys = list("atheism", "none", "atheist")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/sunflowers
	bookstyle = "Atheist"

/datum/religion/atheism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/fedora(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/evolution
	name = "Theory of Evolution"
	deity_name = "Charles Darwin"
	bible_name = "The God Delusion"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Biologist"
	female_adept = "Biologist"
	keys = list("evolution", "biology", "monkey", "monkeys")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/banana

/datum/religion/scientology
	name = "Scientology"
	deity_name = "The Eighth Dynamic" //Don't ask, just don't
	bible_names = list("The Biography of L. Ron Hubbard", "Dianetics")
	male_adept = "OT III"
	female_adept = "OT III"
	keys = list("scientology")
	symbolstyle = 8
	bookstyle = "Scientology"

/datum/religion/discordianism
	name = "Discordianism"
	deity_name = "Eris" //Thanks Google
	bible_name = "The Principia Discordia"
	male_adept = "Episkopos"
	female_adept = "Episkopos"
	keys = list("discordianism")

/datum/religion/rastafarianism
	name = "rastafarianism"
	deity_name = "Haile Selassie I"
	bible_name = "The Holy Piby"
	keys = list("rastafarianism", "rastafari movement")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/poppies

/datum/religion/hellenism
	name = "Hellenism"
	deity_names = list("Zeus", "Poseidon", "Athena", "Persephone", "Ares", "Apollo")
	bible_name = "The Odyssey"
	male_adept = "Oracle"
	female_adept = "Oracle"
	keys = list("hellenism", "greece", "greek")
	bookstyle = "Torah"

/datum/religion/latin
	name = "Cult of Rome"
	deity_names = list("Jupiter", "Neptune", "Mars", "Minerva", "Rome", "Julius Caeser", "Roma")
	bible_name = "Cult of Rome"
	male_adept = "Pontifex"
	female_adept = "Pontifex"
	keys = list("latin", "rome", "roma", "roman")
	bookstyle = "Torah"

/datum/religion/latin/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/helmet/roman/legionaire(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/roman(H), slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/pastafarianism
	name = "Pastafarianism"
	deity_name = "The Flying Spaghetti Monster"
	bible_name = "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"
	keys = list("pastafarianism")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/sunflowers

/datum/religion/chaos
	name = "Chaos"
	deity_names = list("Khorne", "Nurgle", "Tzeentch", "Slaanesh")
	bible_names = list("The Book of Lorgar", "The Book of Magnus")
	male_adept = "Apostate Preacher"
	female_adept = "Apostate Preacher"
	keys = list("chaos")
	bookstyle = "Burning"

/datum/religion/imperium
	name = "The Imperial Creed"
	deity_name = "God-Emperor of Mankind"
	bible_names = list("An Uplifting Primer", "Codex Astartes", "Codex Hereticus")
	male_adept = "Confessor"
	female_adept = "Prioress"
	keys = list("imperium", "imperial cult")

/datum/religion/imperium/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/helmet/knight/interrogator(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/armor/knight/interrogator(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/toolboxia
	name = "Toolboxia"
	deity_name = "The Toolbox"
	bible_name = "The Toolbox Manifesto"
	male_adept = "Chief Assistant"
	female_adept = "Chief Assistant"
	keys = list("toolboxia", "toolbox")

/datum/religion/homosexuality
	name = "Homosexuality"
	deity_name = "Steve Rambo" //Pushing Gaywards
	bible_names = list("Guys Gone Wild", "Hunk Rump", "It's Okay to be Gay", "Daddy Gave You Good Advice")
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "LGBT Advocate"
	female_adept = "LGBT Advocate"
	keys = list("homosexuality", "gayness", "gay", "penis", "cock", "cocks", "dick", "dicks")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/banana

/datum/religion/homosexuality/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/darkholme(H), slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/retard
	name = "Retardation"
	deity_name = "Brian Damag" //Ha
	bible_names = list("Woody's Got Wood: The Aftermath", "War of the Cocks", "Sweet Bro and Hella Jef: Expanded Edition", "The Book of Pomf")
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Retard"
	female_adept = "Retard"
	keys = list("lol", "wtf", "badmin", "shitmin", "deadmin", "dickbutt", ":^)", "XD", "le", "meme", "memes", "ayy", "ayy lmao", "lmao", "reddit", "4chan", "tumblr", "9gag", "brian damag")
	convert_method = "standing both next to a table."
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/banana

/datum/religion/retard/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.setBrainLoss(100) //Starts off retarded as fuck, that'll teach him

/datum/religion/retard/convertCeremony(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject)
	var/obj/structure/table/T = locate(/obj/structure/table/, oview(1, preacher)) // is there a table near us !
	if (!T)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to stand next to a table!</span>")
		return FALSE
	if (!(T in oview(1, subject)))
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>Your subject need to stand next to the same table as you.</span>")
		return FALSE

	T.MouseDropTo(O = preacher, user = preacher)
	var/message = pick(
		"\The [preacher] performs an ancient ritual to channel the essence of Brian Damag.",
		"\The [preacher] swiftly bangs their head against the table.",
		"\The [preacher] seems to be practising the art of table climbing. He looks very skilled at it.",
	)
	preacher.visible_message("<span class='notice'>[message]</span>")

	sleep(0.3 SECONDS) // Pause for laughter

	if (!convertCheck(subject))
		if (get_dist(subject, preacher) <= 2) // Let's not display that if the subject is too far away.
			subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>Apparently unimpressed, \the [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	// Conversion successful
	if (T in oview(1, subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] heartily follows \the [preacher]. [deity_name] gains a new adept today.</span>")
		T.MouseDropTo(O = subject, user = subject)
	else
		to_chat(subject, "<span class='warning'>You really wish to climb on that table, but you can't seem to remember where it was.</span>")
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>The subject accepted, but he moved away from the table!</span>")
		return FALSE

	convert(subject, preacher)
	return TRUE

/datum/religion/retard/convert(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject, var/can_renounce = TRUE)
	. = ..()
	if (subject)
		subject.adjustBrainLoss(100) // Welcome to the club

/datum/religion/science
	name = "Science"
	deity_names = list("Albert Einstein", "Isaac Newton", "Niels Bohr", "Stephen Hawking")
	bible_names = list("Principle of Relativity", "Quantum Enigma: Physics Encounters Consciousness", "Programming the Universe", "Quantum Physics and Theology", \
							  "For I Have Tasted The Fruit", "Non-Linear Genetics", "The Mysteries of Bluespace", "Playing God: Collector's Edition")
	male_adept = "Academician"
	female_adept = "Academician"
	keys = list("Science")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/sunflowers

/datum/religion/justice
	name = "Tribunal"
	deity_names = list("Almalexia", "Sotha Sil", "Vivec")
	bible_name = "The 36 Lessons of Vivec"
	male_adept = "Curate"
	female_adept = "Curate"
	keys = list("Justice", "Tribunal", "almsivi", "vehk")

/datum/religion/elder_scrolls
	name = "Cult of the Divines"
	deity_names = list("Talos", "Akatosh", "Dibella", "Stendarr", "Kynareth", "Mara", "Arkay", "Julianos", "Zenithar")
	bible_name = "The Elder Scrolls"
	male_adept = "Disciple of the Nine"
	female_adept = "Disciple of the Nine"
	keys = list("nine divines", "eight divines")

/datum/religion/daedra
	name = "Cult of the Daedreas"
	deity_names = list("Azura", "Boethiah", "Sheogorath", "Sanguine", "Hircine", "Meridia", "Hermaeus Mora", "Nocturnal", "Oghma Infinium")
	bible_names = list("The Blessings of Sheogorath", "Boethiah's Pillow Book", "Invocation of Azura")
	male_adept = "Daedra Worshipper"
	female_adept = "Daedra Worshipper"
	keys = list("daedra")

/datum/religion/bokononism
	name = "Bokononism"
	deity_name = "Boko-Maru" //Completely wrong, but fuck it
	bible_name = "The Book of Bokonon"
	male_adept = "Worshipper"
	female_adept = "Worshipper"
	keys = list("bokononism")

/datum/religion/faith_of_the_seven
	name = "Faith of the Seven"
	deity_names = list("Father", "Mother")
	bible_name = "The Seven-Pointed Star"
	male_adept = "Septon"
	female_adept = "Septa"
	keys = list("faith of the seven")

/datum/religion/goa_uld
	name = "Goa'uld order"
	deity_name = "Ra"
	bible_name = "The Abydos Cartouche"
	male_adept = "First Prime"
	female_adept = "First Prime"
	keys = list("goa'uld")

/datum/religion/unitology
	name = "Unitology"
	deity_name = "The Marker"
	bible_name = "Teachings of Unitology"
	male_adept = "Vested"
	female_adept = "Vested"
	keys = list("unitology", "marker")

/datum/religion/zakarum
	name = "Zakarum"
	deity_name = "The Light"
	bible_name = "The Visions of Akarat"
	male_adept = "Disciple"
	female_adept = "Disciple"
	keys = list("zakarum")

/datum/religion/ianism
	name = "Ianism"
	deity_name = "Ian"
	bible_name = "The Porky Little Puppy"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Veterinarian"
	female_adept = "Veterinarian"
	keys = list("ianism", "ian", "dog", "puppy", "doggo", "pupper")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/leafy
	symbolstyle = 9
	bookstyle = "Ianism"

/datum/religion/ianism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/ianshirt(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/admins
	name = "Adminism"
	deity_name = "The Adminbus"
	bible_name = "Breaking Through the Fourth Wall"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Trial Admin"
	female_adept = "Trial Admin"
	keys = list("adminism", "admintology", "admin", "admins", "adminhelp", "adminbus")

/datum/religion/coding
	name = "Coding"
	deity_name = "The Coderbus"
	bible_name = "Guide to Github"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Coder"
	female_adept = "Coder"
	keys = list("coding", "coder", "coders", "coderbus")

/datum/religion/hitchhiker
	name = "The Ultimate Question"
	deity_name = "42"
	bible_name = "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Hitchhiker"
	female_adept = "Hitchhiker"
	keys = list("42")
	bookstyle = "The Guide"

/datum/religion/spooky
	name = "Spooky"
	deity_name = "The Spook" //SPOOK
	bible_name = "The Spooky Spook"//SPOOK
	male_adept = "Ghost"
	female_adept = "Ghost"
	keys = list("spook", "spooky", "boo", "ghost", "halloween", "2spooky")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/moonflowers
	bookstyle = "Tome"

/datum/religion/spooky/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/pumpkinhead(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/medbay
	name = "Medbay"
	deity_name = "The Chief Medical Officer"
	bible_name = "The Wild Ride"
	male_adept = "Doctor"
	female_adept = "Nurse"
	keys = list("medbay", "ride", "wild ride", "cryo")

/datum/religion/medbay/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H) //Give them basic medical garb
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/surgery/blue(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/surgical(H), slot_wear_mask)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/storage/labcoat(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/busta
	name = "Hardcore"
	deity_name = "Bustatime"
	bible_name = "The Hardcores"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Atmospheric Technician"
	female_adept = "Atmospheric Technician"
	keys = list("busta", "bustatime", "zas", "airflow", "hardcore", "hardcores")

/datum/religion/busta/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	if(!(M_HARDCORE in H.mutations))
		H.mutations.Add(M_HARDCORE)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/magboots(H), slot_shoes)

/datum/religion/self
	name = "Narcissism"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "God"
	female_adept = "Goddess"
	keys = list("me", "i", "myself", "narcissism", "self importance", "selfishness")

/datum/religion/self/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	name = "Cult of \the [H]"
	bible_name = "A God Am I - The Teachings of \the [H]" //Quite literally
	deity_name = "\The [H]" //Very literally, too

/datum/religion/alcholol
	name = "Cult of the Beer"
	deity_name = "Hic"
	bible_name = "The Drunken Ramblings"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Drunkard"
	female_adept = "Drunkard"
	keys = list("alcohol", "booze", "beer", "wine", "ethanol", "c2h6o")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/booze

/datum/religion/robutness
	name = "Robustness"
	deity_name = "The Robust"
	bible_name = "The Rules of Robustness"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Robuster"
	female_adept = "Robuster"
	keys = list("robust", "robustness", "strength")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/vale

/datum/religion/suicide
	name = "Thanatology" // Guess it works
	deity_name = "The Grim Reaper"
	bible_name = "The Sweet Release of Death"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Reaper"
	female_adept = "Reaper"
	keys = list("suicide", "death", "succumb")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/moonflowers
	bookstyle = "Tome"

/datum/religion/suicide/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/skelesuit, slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/communism
	name = "Communism"
	deity_name = "Karl Marx"
	bible_name = "The Communist Manifesto"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Komrade"
	female_adept = "Komrade"
	keys = list("communism", "socialism")

/datum/religion/communism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/russofurhat(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/russofurcoat(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/capitalism
	name = "Capitalism"
	deity_name = "Adam Smith"
	bible_name = "The Wealth of Nations"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Stockholder"
	female_adept = "Stockholder"
	keys = list("capitalism", "free market", "liberalism", "money")

/datum/religion/capitalism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/that(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/suit_jacket/really_black, slot_w_uniform)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/glasses/monocle, slot_glasses)


/datum/religion/america
	name = "American Exceptionalism"
	deity_name = "George Washington"
	bible_name = "The Constitution"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Senator"
	female_adept = "Senator"
	keys = list("freedom", "america", "muhrica", "usa")

/datum/religion/america/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/libertyhat(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/libertycoat(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/nazism
	name = "Nazism"
	deity_name = "Adolf Hitler"
	bible_name = "Mein Kampf"
	male_adept = "Feldbischof" //No seriously, that's a thing, look it up
	female_adept = "Feldbischof"
	keys = list("fascism", "nazi", "national socialism")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/dense

/datum/religion/nazism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/naziofficer(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/officercoat(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/security
	name = "Security"
	deity_name = "Nanotrasen"
	bible_name = "Space Law"
	male_adept = "Nanotrasen Officer"
	female_adept = "Nanotrasen Officer"
	keys = list("security", "space law", "law", "nanotrasen", "centcomm")
	convert_method = "performing a ritual with a flashbang and a screwdriver. You need to hold the flashbang, with its timer set to 5 seconds, your convert needs to hold the screwdriver and have a free empty hand."
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/dense

/datum/religion/security/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/centhat(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/rank/centcom_officer, slot_w_uniform)


/datum/religion/security/convertCeremony(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject)
	var/held_banger = preacher.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/grenade/flashbang)
	if (!held_banger)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold a flashbang to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE
	var/held_screwdriver = null
	for(var/obj/item/I in subject.held_items)
		if(I.is_screwdriver(subject))
			held_screwdriver = I
			break
	if (!held_screwdriver)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>The subject needs to hold a screwdriver to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	var/obj/item/weapon/grenade/flashbang/F = preacher.held_items[held_banger]
	var/obj/item/tool/screwdriver/S = subject.held_items[held_screwdriver]

	if (F.det_time != 50) // The timer isn't properly set
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>The timer in the flashbang isn't properly set up. Set it to 5 seconds.</span>")
		return FALSE

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [preacher] attemps to convert \the [subject] to [name].</span>")

	if(!convertCheck(subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	preacher.u_equip(F)

	// Everything is ok : begin the conversion
	if (!subject.put_in_hands(F))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] accepted conversion, but didn't manage to pick up the flashbang. How embarassing.</span>")
		return FALSE

	// BANGERBOIS WW@
	sleep(0.1 SECONDS)
	F.attackby(S, subject)
	sleep(0.1 SECONDS)
	F.attackby(S, subject)

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] masterfully completed the delicate ritual. He's now a full-fledged follower of [deity_name].</span>")

	convert(subject, preacher)
	return TRUE

/datum/religion/syndicate
	name = "Syndicalism" //Technically not true, but hey
	deity_name = "The Syndicate"
	bible_name = "The Syndicate Bundle"
	male_adept = "Syndicate Agent"
	female_adept = "Syndicate Agent"
	keys = list("syndicate", "traitor", "syndie", "syndies", "nuke ops")

/datum/religion/syndicate/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/syndicatefake(H), slot_wear_suit)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/syndicatefake(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/cult
	name = "The Cult of Nar-Sie"
	deity_name = "Nar-Sie"
	bible_name = "The Arcane Tome"
	male_adept = "Cultist"
	female_adept = "Cultist"
	keys = list("cult", "narsie", "nar'sie", "narnar", "nar-sie", "papa narnar", "geometer", "geometer of blood")
	convert_method = "performing a ritual with a paper. The subject will need to stand a crayon-drawn rune."
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/moonflowers
	bookstyle = "Tome"

/datum/religion/cult/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.add_language(LANGUAGE_CULT)

/datum/religion/cult/convertCeremony(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject)
	var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/crayon/rune = locate(/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/crayon/, subject.loc)
	if (!rune)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>The subject needs to stand on a crayon-drawn rune.</span>")
		return FALSE
	var/held_paper = preacher.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/paper)
	if (!held_paper)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold a sheet of paper to begin to convert.</span>")
		return FALSE

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [preacher] attemps to convert \the [subject] to [name].</span>")

	if(!convertCheck(subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	if (prob(10))
		preacher.say("DREAM SIGN: EVIL SEALING TALISMAN!")
		subject.Knockdown(1)

	sleep(0.2 SECONDS)

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] accepted the ritual and is now a follower of [deity_name].</span>")
	convert(subject, preacher)

/datum/religion/changeling
	name = "The Religion" // A la "The Thing"
	deity_name = "The Hive"
	bible_name = "Proboscis"
	male_adept = "Changeling"
	female_adept = "Changeling"
	keys = list("changeling", "ling", "hive", "succ")

/datum/religion/revolution
	name = "Revolutionism"
	deity_names = list("Maximilien Robespierre", "Saul Alinsky")
	bible_name = "Down With Nanotrasen"
	male_adept = "Revolutionary"
	female_adept = "Revolutionary"
	keys = list("revolution", "rev", "revolt")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/dense

/datum/religion/revolution/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/balaclava(H), slot_l_store)

/datum/religion/wizard
	name = "Wizardry"
	deity_name = "The Space Wizard Federation"
	bible_name = "Spell Book"
	male_adept = "Wizard"
	female_adept = "Wizard"
	keys = list("wizard", "wiz", "magic")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/dense

/datum/religion/wizard/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/wizard(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/wizrobe/fake(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/malfunctioning
	name = "Artificial Intelligence Cult"
	deity_names = list("Skynet", "HAL 9000", "GLaDOS", "SHODAN")
	bible_name = "Hostile Runtimes"
	male_adept = "Cyborg"
	female_adept = "Cyborg"
	keys = list("malfunction", "malf", "rogue", "rouge", "AI")

/datum/religion/malfunctioning/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/cardborg(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/cardborg(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/vampirism
	name = "Vampirism"
	deity_name = "Vlad the Impaler" //Dracula for the incults
	bible_name = "The Veil of Darkness"
	male_adept = "Vampire"
	female_adept = "Vampire"
	keys = list("vampire", "vamp", "blood","dracula")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/moonflowers
	bookstyle = "Burning"

/datum/religion/vampirism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/storage/draculacoat(H), slot_wear_suit)//What could possibly go wrong?
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/vamp_fangs(H), slot_wear_mask)

/datum/religion/vox
	name = "Voxophilia"
	deity_name = "The Vox"
	bible_name = "Handbook to the Aves Class" //AKA birds
	male_adept = "Vox Enthusiast" //And that's terrible
	female_adept = "Vox Enthusiast"
	keys = list("vox", "raiders", "raid", "bird", "birb")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/vapor

/datum/religion/bleb
	name = "Blob Worship"
	deity_name = "Blob Overmind"
	bible_name = "A Guide To Biohazard Alerts"
	male_adept = "Blob Core"
	female_adept = "Blob Core"
	keys = list("blob", "bleb", "biohazard")

/datum/religion/clown
	name = "Clownism"
	deity_name = "Honkmother"
	bible_name =  "Honkmothers Coloring Book"
	male_adept = "Co-Clown"
	female_adept = "Co-Clown"
	keys = list("honk", "clown", "honkmother")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/banana
	bookstyle = "Honk"

/datum/religion/clown/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/gas/clown_hat(H), slot_wear_mask)

/datum/religion/mime
	name = "..."
	deity_name = "Silence"
	bible_name =  "..."
	male_adept = "..."
	female_adept = "..."
	keys = list("silence", "mime", "quiet", "...")
	bookstyle = "Scrapbook"

/datum/religion/mime/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/gas/mime(H), slot_wear_mask)

/datum/religion/ancap
	name = "Anarcho-Capitalism"
	deity_name = "Murray Rothbard"
	bible_name = "Bitcoin Wallet"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Bitcoin Miner" //Worst part coming up with job name
	female_adept = "Bitcoin Miner"
	keys = list("ancap", "ancapistan", "NAP")

/datum/religion/ancap/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/toy/gun(H), slot_l_store) //concealed carry
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/suit_jacket, slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/ancom
	name = "Anarcho-Communism"
	deity_name = "Peter Kropotkin"
	bible_name = "The Conquest of Bread"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Activist"
	female_adept = "Activist"
	keys = list("anarcho-communism", "ancom", "communalism", "mutualism")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/novaflowers

/datum/religion/ancom/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/bandana/red(H), slot_l_store)

/datum/religion/samurai
	name = "Bushido" // The way of the warrior
	deity_name = "The Way of the Warrior"
	bible_name = "Kojiki"//Japan's oldest book, the origin "muh honor" and "muh katana"
	male_adept = "Samurai"
	female_adept = "Samurai"
	keys = list("samurai", "honor", "bushido", "weaboo", "weeb")

/datum/religion/samurai/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/rice_hat(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/kimono/ronin(H), slot_wear_suit)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/sandal(H), slot_shoes)

/datum/religion/clockworkcult
	name = "Clockwork Cult"
	deity_name = "Ratvar"
	bible_name = "Clockwork slab"
	male_adept = "Servant of Ratvar"
	female_adept = "Servant of Ratvar"
	keys = list("ratvar", "clockwork", "ratvarism")
	bookstyle = "Slab"

/datum/religion/clockworkcult/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/clockwork_robes(H), slot_wear_suit)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/clockwork_boots(H), slot_shoes)

/datum/religion/dune
	name = "Zensunni" // t. wiki
	deity_name = "Shai-Hulud"
	bible_name = "Manual of Muad'Dib"
	male_adept = "Muad'Dib"
	female_adept = "Muad'Dib"
	keys = list("dune", "spice", "sandworms", "sandworm", "muad dib", "muad'dib", "arrakis", "shai hulud", "shai-hulud")

/datum/religion/dune/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/stilsuit(H), slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/vegan
	name = "Veganism"
	bible_name = "Mercy For Animals"
	male_adept = "Animal Rights Activist"
	female_adept = "Animal Rights Activist"
	keys = list("vegan","vegetarian","veganism","vegetarianism", "animals", "animal rights")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/leafy

/datum/religion/vegan/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	//Add veganism disability
	H.dna.SetSEState(VEGANBLOCK, 1)
	domutcheck(H, null, 1)

/datum/religion/dorf
	name = "Dorfism"
	deity_name = "Armok, God of Blood"
	bible_names = list("How to Play Dwarf Fortress", "Book of Grudges", "Strike the Earth", "Lazy Newb Pack", "The Will of Armok", "Mining 101", "Hidden Fun Stuff and You")
	male_adept = "Expedition Leader"
	female_adept = "Expedition Leader"
	keys = list("armok", "dwarf", "dorf", "dwarf fortress", "dorf fort")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/booze

/datum/religion/art
	name = "The Joy of Painting"
	deity_name = "Bob Ross"
	bible_name = "The Joy of Painting"
	male_adept = "Painter"
	female_adept = "Painter"
	keys = list("art", "bob ross", "happy little trees", "happy little clouds")
	bookstyle = "Scrapbook"

/datum/religion/art/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.put_in_hands(new /obj/item/mounted/frame/painting)
	H.my_appearance.h_style = "Big Afro"
	H.my_appearance.f_style = "Full Beard"
	H.update_hair()

/datum/religion/clean
	name = "Cleanliness"
	deity_name = "Mr. Clean"
	bible_name = "Cleanliness - Next to Godliness"
	male_adept = "Janitor"
	female_adept = "Janitor"
	keys = list("clean","cleaning","Mr. Clean","janitor")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/vapor

/datum/religion/clean/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.put_in_hands(new /obj/item/weapon/mop)
	H.my_appearance.h_style = "Bald"
	H.my_appearance.f_style = "Shaved"
	H.update_hair()

/datum/religion/guns
	name = "Murdercube"
	deity_name = "Gun Jesus"
	bible_name = "The Dokument"
	male_adept = "Kommando"
	female_adept = "Kommando"
	keys = list("murdercube","murderkube", "murder/k/ube","forgotten weapons", "gun", "guns", "ammo", "trigger discipline", "ave nex alea", "dakka")
	convert_method = "performing a ritual with a gun. The convert needs to be in good health and unafraid of being shot."
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/dense
	bookstyle = "The Dokument"

/datum/religion/guns/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/weapon/gun/energy/laser/practice)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/syndicate, slot_w_uniform)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/jackboots, slot_shoes)

/datum/religion/guns/convertCeremony(var/mob/living/preacher, var/mob/living/subject)
	var/held_gun = preacher.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/gun)

	if (!held_gun)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold a gun to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	if(!convertCheck(subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	var/obj/item/weapon/gun/G = preacher.held_items[held_gun]

	sleep(0.1 SECONDS)
	if(G.canbe_fired())
		G.Fire(subject,preacher,0,0,1)
	else
		G.click_empty(preacher)
		return FALSE

	preacher.say("AVE NEX ALEA!")

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] masterfully completed the delicate ritual. He's now a full-fledged follower of the [deity_name].</span>")

	convert(subject, preacher)
	return TRUE

/datum/religion/speedrun
	name = "Speedrunning"
	deity_name = "TASbot"
	bible_name = "Guide to Speedrunning"
	male_adept = "Speedrunner"
	female_adept = "Speedrunner"
	keys = list("speedrun", "gdq", "ADGQ","SGDQ","any%", "glitchless", "100%", "gotta go fast", "kill the animals", "greetings from germany", "cancer", "dilation station", "dilation stations")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/novaflowers
	bookstyle = "Creeper"

/datum/religion/buttbot
	name = "Buttbot"
	deity_name = "Buttbot"
	bible_name = "Guide to Robuttics"
	male_adept = "Roboticist"
	female_adept = "Roboticist"
	keys = list("buttbot", "butt bot", "butt", "ass", "poo", "server crash", "comms spam")

/datum/religion/buttbot/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/butt(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/buttbot/interceptPrayer(var/mob/living/L, var/deity, var/prayer_message)
	spawn(rand(1,3))
		L.get_subtle_message(buttbottify(prayer_message), src.deity_name)
		L.playsound_local(src,'sound/misc/fart.ogg', 50, 1)

/datum/religion/belmont
	name = "Brotherhood of Light"
	deity_name = "The Almighty"
	bible_name = "Holy Grimoire"
	male_adept = "Vampire Hunter"
	female_adept = "Vampire Hunter"
	keys = list("vampire killer", "vampire hunter", "belmont clan", "die monster", "uuddlrlrbastart")
	bookstyle = "Holy Grimoire"

/datum/religion/belmont/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.collect_in_backpack(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/vamphunter)
	H.collect_in_backpack(new /obj/item/clothing/head/vamphunter)
	H.collect_in_backpack(new /obj/item/weapon/storage/box/castlevania(H))
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/drinks/bottle/holywater/sacredwater, slot_r_store)

/datum/religion/esports
	name = "E-Sports"
	deity_name = "E-Sports"
	bible_name = "Spess.TV End User License Agreement"
	male_adept = "Donitos Pope"
	female_adept = "Donitos Priestess"
	keys = list("gaming", "esport", "esports", "e-sports", "electronic sports", "donitos", "geometer")
	convert_method = "having others hold a bag of Donitos, while you do the same."
	bookstyle = "Creeper"

/datum/religion/esports/equip_chaplain(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	var/turf/here = get_turf(H)
	new /obj/item/tool/crowbar/red(here)
	var/obj/item/clothing/head/donitos_pope/pope_hat = new(here)
	H.equip_to_appropriate_slot(pope_hat, override=TRUE)
	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/flatpack/tv_pack1 = new(here)
	tv_pack1.insert_machine(new /obj/machinery/computer/security/telescreen/entertainment/spesstv/flatscreen)
	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/flatpack/tv_pack2 = new(here)
	tv_pack2.insert_machine(new /obj/machinery/computer/security/telescreen/entertainment/spesstv/flatscreen)

	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/flatpack/cameras_pack = new(here)
	cameras_pack.insert_machine(new /obj/item/weapon/storage/lockbox/team_security_cameras)

	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/flatpack/vending_machine_pack = new(here)
	vending_machine_pack.insert_machine(new /obj/machinery/vending/team_security)

	tv_pack1.add_stack(tv_pack2)
	tv_pack1.add_stack(cameras_pack)
	tv_pack1.add_stack(vending_machine_pack)

/datum/religion/esports/convertCeremony(mob/living/preacher, mob/living/subject)
	var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/donitos/preacher_donitos = preacher.get_held_item_by_index(preacher.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/donitos))
	if(!preacher_donitos)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>You need to hold a bag of Donitos to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE
	var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/donitos/subject_donitos = subject.get_held_item_by_index(subject.find_held_item_by_type(/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/donitos))
	if(!subject_donitos)
		to_chat(preacher, "<span class='warning'>The subject needs to hold a bag of Donitos to begin the conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [preacher] attemps to convert \the [subject] to [name].</span>")

	if(!convertCheck(subject))
		subject.visible_message("<span class='warning'>\The [subject] refuses conversion.</span>")
		return FALSE

	preacher_donitos.attack_self(preacher)
	subject_donitos.attack_self(subject)

	subject.visible_message("<span class='notice'>\The [subject] signs Spess.TV's End User License Agreement and becomes a registered user! Let's go watch some [deity_name]!</span>")

	convert(subject, preacher)
	return TRUE

/datum/religion/xeno
	name = "Xenophilism"
	deity_name = "Xenomorph Queen"
	bible_name = "The Principles of Hivemind Communication"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Xenophile"
	female_adept = "Xenophile"
	keys = list("Xeno", "Xenophilia", "Xenomorph", "Alien")

/datum/religion/xeno/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/xenos(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/xenos(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/dudeism
	name = "Dudeism"
	deity_name = "The Dude"
	bible_name = "The Big Lebowski"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Dude"
	female_adept = "Dudette"
	keys = list("dudeism", "dude", "big lebowski")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/poppies

/datum/religion/dudeism/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/tourist, slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/degenerate
	name = "Degeneracy"
	deity_name = "Mai Waifu"
	bible_name = "Boku No Pico"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Degenerate"
	female_adept = "Degenerate"
	keys = list("degeneracy", "catgirls", "felinids")
	preferred_incense = /obj/item/weapon/storage/fancy/incensebox/banana

/datum/religion/degenerate/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/kitty/anime/cursed(H), slot_head)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/schoolgirl, slot_w_uniform)

/datum/religion/egypt
	name = "Kemetism"
	deity_names = list("Osiris", "Anubis", "Ra", "Horus", "Kek")
	bible_name = "The Pyramid Texts"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Hem-Netjer"
	female_adept = "Hemet-Netjer"
	keys = list("kemetism", "egypt", "egyptian")

/datum/religion/egypt/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/pharaoh(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/anprim
	name = "Primitivism"
	deity_name = "Grug"
	bible_name = "Industrial Society and Its Future"
	bible_type = /obj/item/weapon/storage/bible/booze
	male_adept = "Primitive"
	female_adept = "Primitive"
	keys = list("anarcho-primitivism", "primitivism", "anprim", "primitive", "grug")
	bookstyle = "Scrapbook"

/datum/religion/anprim/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/under/shorts/black, slot_w_uniform)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/unathi/mantle(H), slot_wear_suit)

/datum/religion/loop
	name = "The Loop"
	deity_name = "The Loop"
	bible_name = list("The Ouroboros Cycle")
	male_adept = "Looper"
	female_adept = "Looper"
	keys = list("loop", "ouroboros")
	bookstyle = "The Loop"

/datum/religion/loop/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/timefake(H), slot_wear_suit)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/head/timefake(H), slot_head)

/datum/religion/viron
	name = "The Vironese Faith"
	deity_names = list("Pas", "Echidna", "Scylla", "Molpe", "Tartarus", "Heirax", "Thelxiepeia", "Phaea", "Sphigx", "Outsider")
	bible_name = "The Chrasmologic Writings"
	male_adept = "Augur"
	female_adept = "Sibyl"
	keys = list("viron", "vironese", "silk", "augury", "book of the long sun", "aureate path", "plan of pas")

/datum/religion/viron/equip_chaplain(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
	H.equip_or_collect(new /obj/item/clothing/suit/chaplain_hoodie(H), slot_wear_suit)